Once I got the doctor's voicemail that I was a-ok, I felt great. The bleeding stopped entirely. Entirely. I was walking on air.
I spent my last few days in the NYC office feeling sentimental about the people there, the city I grew up in, and life in general. I called friends I hadn't talked to in years, and I went out. I had fun.
I flew back home Friday July 30th, excited to get back to normal life. I hadn't stayed in touch properly with my friends there and it was summer - all two months of it.
I landed in Sea-Tac airport feeling good but a little sad. I always feel a little sad when I arrive home from trips (and I travel a lot for work). No one to welcome me. I see the large "welcome home!!" signs and balloons for other passengers, or at least the car service signs with people's names on them. That's not for me. I have a pug at home. No one to eagerly await my return - at least no one who wants to wait at the airport gate. Poor me, right? Well, I think so.
I went to bed that night tired but so glad to be in my own apartment with my dog and my sheets and my kitchen.
I woke up late the next day, Saturday. I called a couple of friends. At around 10am I got a call from an unknown number.
I ignored it. Then I got a voicemail notification.
"Hi Ingrid, this is Dr. Shin. I'm not sure where you are but I'd like to talk with you. You can't call me unfortunately because it's Saturday and the service isn't at work but I'll call you back."
Oh God. Why didn't she leave an "everything's fine" voicemail like before? Why is she calling me on a Saturday morning?
I call my sister Lizzie immediately.
"Lizzie, it's Ingrid" I manage, in between intense body consuming sobs.
"Ingy, what's wrong??"
"I got a voicemail from the Dr in NYC and she didn't say everything was fine and she called on a Saturday and I'm just sure something..." [BEEP]
"Oh my God Lizzie, she's calling back, I need to go." [CLICK]
"Hello?"
"Hi Ingrid, it's Dr. Deborah Shin. How are you?"
"I'm fine thanks."
"Are you still in NYC or have you gone back to Seattle?"
"I got back to Seattle last night."
"OK, well I would ordinarily deliver this news in person but since I can't we can do this by phone."
"What news?"
"Well your biopsy results have come back and it looks like you have endometrial cancer. But you should know that this is one of the friendliest cancers there are. 85% of people survive and your cells are low grade which means they are very slow growing."
Silence.
"I know this is a lot to take in, and I'm so sorry. So sorry."
"What do I do?"
"Well, the standard treatment is a hysterectomy. That usually takes care of it."
"Will I lose my ovaries?"
"It's a good chance that you will, to be safe. I'm so sorry Ingrid."
"What stage am I?"
"We can't stage the cancer without surgery and a proper pathology report. Your cells have a Figo score of 1 to 2, which is very good - very slow growing. The cancer is staged based on how far it has spread into the uterine lining, then the next stage is cervix invasion, then ovaries, then lymph nodes and all other organs which would be stage 4. But again, your cells are very slow growing and your ultrasound didn't show any obvious tumors so you are very likely stage 1, and again, with slow growing cells."
"Will I need chemo or radiation?"
"It's not likely if it's stage 1. You might need some radiation if there are any cells in your cervix."
"OK, well, I can't think straight right now, but thank you for everything Dr. Shin. You've been fantastic."
"I'm so sorry again, Ingrid. Call if I can help with anything."
"Thanks."
So, it wasn't menopause.
